Why I'm Not Around

Deep Thoughts, by Emily Rennard:

"Once, when I planned my wedding, I had a panic attack in the middle of the grocery store. Good thing about is was, I was in the cookie aisle, and I began ripping open Famous Amos boxes and completely ate my feelings away."

Just kidding, that didn't happen. But it could.

I am about 3 weeks out from marriage-ness and while I was feelin' groovy last week, I feel the Pangs of Anxiety returning.

Pangs of Anxiety: They're like old friends that come around once every 3 years. You get together, force conversation, realize you're totally different people and there's a reason you don't talk much anymore. Yet, you still have some weird pull to be around them because they're familiar, albeit totally dysfunctional.

Old friends, I wish you would go away. But the best feature of shitty old friends like Pangs of Anxiety is that they are the catalyst to get you to wake the F up. And get shit done. Pangs of Anxiety help assemble wedding programs, or put together a wedding itinerary, or book your final honeymoon hotel. So I guess they're not always shitty. Just distant, and neurotic.

As far as my color-coded to-do list is concerned, we're actually in pretty good shape. I mean sure, when Neal & I met with our photographer last night, it was self-evident that we hadn't give more than 10 minutes of thought to how the day's events would actually unfold, time-wise. But that's why my photographer owns, because she helped me figure that all out. Megan, have you considered charging for consulting services? I'm serious.

We've got table runners, flowers, food, music, outfits, hairdos, paper flags, candles, a marriage license (critical), a Reverend, some guests, chairs, a few tables, a hall, garden, a little kid with a pillow, a little kid with some flowers, rings, jewels, shoes, shirts, smiles, love.

I think we're good to go, folks.