Oye oye oye. I don't even want to start this post. I don't. Because this whole situation is making me so sad, and frustrated, and aggravated, and pissed off.
I have a hormone disorder called PCOS, which I was recently diagnosed with, that causes all kinds of super-fun symptoms like oily skin, acne, excessive hair (hirsutism), fatigue, weight gain, extreme PMS (those joyous, joyous days...) and trouble conceiving, just to name a few.
Acne has been a part of my life since I was about 13 years old. So, I have been dealing with acne for the majority of my life - over 15 years. Let me tell those of you who have perfect skin - be SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOoooooo-oh-oh-oh thankful that the Lord blessed you. Because acne really is a nightmare.
I can't tell you how many times I've not felt like going out because of my skin. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent obsessing about my face in the mirror, hating the way I looked. I'm the type of girl who would wear only lip gloss and mascara if she could, but I have relinquished myself to the notion that I have to wear foundation, powder, and cover-up every day of my life because I'm so embarrassed by my skin's condition. It's.fucking.miserable.
I could go into all the different treatments I've done to my skin, including Accutane (evil, wonderful shit), but I digress.
A few months ago, I started seeing a naturopath. Well, she gave me some stuff and a couple weeks later, my skin was literally the best it's ever been in my life. This lasted for about 2 months. It was the best 2 months of my life, I swear!
Fast forward to about a month ago, and I don't know why, but my skin has gone COMPLETELY.EFFING.PSYCHO.
Needless to say, I'm devastated, and I admit that I had an emotional breakdown yesterday (thank God for Neal, he really is the bees knees). I started the homeopathic treatment again about 2 weeks ago, but so far, nothing. It may even be worse. And when I say worse, I'm talking, the worst adult acne I've ever had. About 2 months away from my wedding day.
This is causing me to search every corner of the intrawebs looking for answers. Could it be my vitamins? My hormone supplements? My new Dermalogica pre-cleanse? My diet? The fact that I'm working out? That I'm stressed?
I'm driving myself crazy trying to think of the cause. And I've accepted the fact that my skin is going to look like total ass for my bridal shower this Saturday.
I hate how focused I am on this, and I'm considering busting out some of my old Accutane and just going for it (my skin was perfect about 2 months in on Accutane....) but that shit is whack. It's terrible because Neal keeps saying that I'm beautiful no matter what, and others say, "Oh, I can't even tell!" but inside, I'm a mess. I feel so..... ugly.
And the thought of having what's happening on my forehead/chin/cheeks right now on my WEDDING day is enough to make me cry very, very hard. I'm just being honest. All women want to feel beautiful on their wedding day, and I'm afraid that if I look like I do now... well... I just won't.
:(
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I feel your pain. I've had acne issues since my teenage years as well. It was actually under control with oral antibiotics for quite awhile, but when I finished law school and started working this fall (along with planning my June wedding) the stress levels soared and my skin went to hell. I've been to my dermatologist multiple times, and we decided last week that I'm going on Accutane. I have to wait until the end of April to start taking it, but that gives me two months before the wedding for it to kick in. I've never taken it before, and to be honest it scares me. But I want a solution, so I'm willing to do it. You sound like you had a bad experience with it. Care to elaborate?
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