Hi, Anxiety. Meet my less shitty friend, Beta Blockers.

Well, this is embarrassing.

For the past 2 weeks, every time I look at a wedding blog and think to myself, "oh my, I'm going to be THAT just about 2 months from now" my heart quivers, palpates, my palms get just a touch sweaty, and my stomach flip-flops.

Yes, indeed. I am feeling an old familiar friend of mine return. We used to hang out when I would sing in choir at big concerts, and it loved to torment me before big theater shows and solo performances.

This shitty friend is named Anxiety.

I am feeling it. It sucks. All those cliché things like, "just relax!" or "take a deep breath, you'll do great!" make me want to vom. I KNOW I'm supposed to relax. I KNOW to take a deep breath, but I can't make those icky physiological symptoms disappear.

I know many performers who have had success with Beta Blockers, and I do feel like this might be my best bet at this point. There's no way in hell I'm swallowing a Xanax or some narcotic on my wedding day. I've heard some bad stories from dear, sweet friends that have made me decide that narcotic drugs are not an option for me. But Beta Blockers, this might be a solution to my ages-old performance anxiety on my wedding day.

Beta blockers work by blocking the effects of the hormone epinephrine, also known as adrenaline. When you take beta blockers, the heart beats more slowly and with less force, thereby reducing blood pressure. Beta blockers also help blood vessels open up to improve blood flow. Hence, I will feel more calm, less heart-jumpy, palpate-y, skippy, and genereally less miz.

Because I know I'm going to be an anxious lady. One very happy, very excited, of-the-moment lady. But an anxious one nonetheless.

Anyone else out there suffer from "performance" anxiety? What are you doing about it for your wedding day?