1. Opening the engraved silver box from my bridesmaids at the hair salon. Cry-fest #1. Beautiful moment that touched my heart so deeply.
2. Having my bridesmaid Pilar zip up my wedding dress.
3. Looking at myself all bridal-ready for the first time. I think in that moment, I realized I really was a woman. A full-grown, adult, ready-to-get married woman. Can we say, "scary"? Scary-killer-rad.
4. Seeing Neal for the 1st time. No, it wasn't at the Botanical Gardens (it was too hot to be outside for much longer than 5 minutes.) I fell in love with him so deeply all over again. The crying part happened when I was able to fully absorb how he was looking at me. Oh God, it makes me cry right now all over again. He was crying, I was crying. Cry-fest #2.
5. The prayer my dear bridesmaid Becky said for us right before the ceremony began. On the ride over to the reception hall (when I finally made the decision to move the wedding to the reception hall due to rain), I started to lose it. I was feeling panicky. Heartbroken that my vision was changing dramatically. Becky saved me from the brinks of total despair. What she said will forever be engraved into my heart. I wish I could remember every word; she's so eloquent, and her prayer made everything all OK again.
6. Walking down the "aisle" with my Dad. Time suspended when I saw a room full of my loved ones and my most favorite man waiting for me on stage. It was like one of those moments in a good film, or I imagine, the feeling you may get when you go to heaven. Very like... end of Titanic when Rose meets Jack at the giant carved staircase on the ship when she dies. Oops! Did I give away the ending to a movie from 1997? My bad.
7. The vows. The vows. The vows. Cry-fest #3. The were filled with so much laughter, joy, and raw emotion. There had been true, tough obstacles in the development of our relationship, and the exchange of our vows was the culmination of years of hard work, and a celebration of the continuous rebirth of our love. I feel like that's what made them so special. Some people haven't been wounded in the way each of us had before we met each other. But we were open to the work of love. And we have always been slaves to the joy and laughter we bring one another. Our vows were full of it all - joy, laughter, tears. It was like a microcosm of our years together.
8. Our first kiss. Because they turned into kisses. Because I go, "Another one!" right after he gave me the one kiss to seal the deal. The second one, and then the third, kind of re-enacted the 3 very different phases of our relationship - the first one was nice, but not quite there yet - too formal. The 2nd was pure passion, and the 3rd melded our spirits together in a holy, holy way. Like a Jesus way.
9. The moments right after our ceremony, where we were bombarded with our favorite people all wanting to hug the crap out of us. The embrace I had with my Dad. Cry-fest #4. I just love my Daddy. I mean, I love my Mom too, but my Dad... we are kindred souls.
10. The rainbow right after our ceremony. I mean, right? Who gets to say that they had a fucking rainbow on their wedding day. ME, y'all! I suppose that's a fair trade for getting rained out, right? :)
FUCKING AWESOME.
11. The toast my dear Pilar gave to us. I love her. The part where she mentioned that we had known each other for 17 years, that part, oh God, that's where I lost it. What special friends I have. Special, unique, interesting, tough, individual, incredible women.
12. Our first dance. Our first dance. Our first dance. My dad wrote us a waltz that he played for us as we pretended to actually waltz around the room. Yep, I tripped on my dress a couple times. But that's what made it great. We will have a song written just for us by my father forever. Elation celebration. Deeply touching.
13. I really, really liked the part where everyone had a fucking awesome time. I wanted to like... continuously hi-five everyone over and over again.
14. My dad's band playing old-time music, and our families coming together and dosey-do'ing, making circle formations and smiling and laughing together was rad beyond words. Old-time music is so festive and happy, and free. And that energy, I felt, was immediately transferred to our guests.
15. Dancing to 'You Make My Dreams Come True', 'Thriller', 'Whoomp, There It Is', and various other dance-jam classics with my homies. Watching my new husband command that dance floor like I always knew he could. Watching him do the 1/2-splits. Playing air guitar with my Dad. Doing the robot hardcore with my Mom. Throwing gang signs with my Mom.
Who the hell does the robot AND gets to play air guitar with their parents at their wedding? That is the shit. I am so thankful that they gave me their ridiculous genes. Thanks, awesome parents. What you lack in maturity you make up for sevenfold with hilarity.
16. The Hats. HELL yes.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
One of My Greatest Learning Experiences
This blog was supposed to be about planning my wedding. It was supposed to describe, in detail, the details of my big day. But as with all creative endeavors, sometimes the route you expect to do down isn't always the path you end up taking. Shut up, I know that sounded cliché. But then, clichés are awesome at one thing in particular: making sense of complicated situations and experiences.
My wedding day was not the vision, the fantasy, that I had executed in my mind for a full 14 months prior to June 12, 2010. It didn't play out like I had prepared in my head. Days never do.
I think that's a subject often glossed over in wedding planning. People tend to not put much emphasis on the fact that your wedding day is literally, 1 day. "It's one of the most important days of your life!" folks conclude. Of course. But it's still a God-ordained 24-hour day. If you believe in God. Well shit, even if you don't.
My best advice to new brides is to really consider that. Ponder it. Go through 1 exciting, eventful single day of your life and then, when you're comfy in your bed late at night, think about how quickly that day goes by. It happens in a flash, and then it's over. The vision/fantasy day that you've been living out for a year (or more, or less) inside of your own mind will take up so much more time/thinking/planning/strategy/fuel than the actual day of your wedding. Take that as you may. It's not a bad or good thing, it's just a thing. It's a consideration.
I kind of got off-topic. That's because as a wedding graduate, I feel like I have a lot of things to say. But truth be told, I've been avoiding blogging because I couldn't articulate, even to myself, exactly how I felt about our wedding day.
As you read in my last post, a lot of things didn't go as expected. But believe me when I tell you that marrying Neal, yes, the actual marrying part of the day, was one of the greatest moments of my life thus far. When that ceremony started, an hour and a half late, in a reception hall instead of a garden, the vision I had been playing out in my head for months evaporated and nothing else mattered except the intense love I was sharing with my almost-husband and a room full of the most important people in my life. Surreal, yes. Amazing, yes. Deeply profound. Deeply gratifying.
Sharing vows with Neal was far more intense than I expected it to be. Neither him nor I could stop the tears. The waltz my Dad wrote for us was pure magic, and dancing to it with my husband was supernatural. The day had its moments of stress, and its complementary moments of indescribable beauty. It had drama, and frustration, and all of those real-life weirdnesses that seem to come about only when you plan on one thing and the good Lord takes you in a totally different direction. What we're so unable to do in this life is be fluid to new plans. We spend hours planning for minutes that haven't yet come into existence.
If I were to do it all over again, and trust me, if you've gone through the process of planning a wedding, you will want to do everything all over again in different way - I would do 1 thing and 1 thing only:
Simplify.
Easier said than done, my pretties. But I'm talking, like, major simplification. Dress off the rack. A flower in my hair. A church/reception combo space. A pizza party. Either that, or an elopement in California. Simple.
What's complicated about this wedding thing is that nothing in life is pure black & white. Wedding days aren't all or nothing. They aren't ALL perfect, or ALL tragic. We are trained to focus on flowers, food, organza, and lace when what happens on the day of your wedding is that, you literally don't care about those things. What you really want to do on your wedding day is get married. Once and for all.
It's funny how we spend so many days planning one day, so much time considering all these details when what happens on the day-of that day, is that we forget all the other days we spend planning for this 1 day, and we want nothing more than to just BE. Be with our loved ones, our vows. To hold one another. To be.
My wedding day was not the vision, the fantasy, that I had executed in my mind for a full 14 months prior to June 12, 2010. It didn't play out like I had prepared in my head. Days never do.
I think that's a subject often glossed over in wedding planning. People tend to not put much emphasis on the fact that your wedding day is literally, 1 day. "It's one of the most important days of your life!" folks conclude. Of course. But it's still a God-ordained 24-hour day. If you believe in God. Well shit, even if you don't.
My best advice to new brides is to really consider that. Ponder it. Go through 1 exciting, eventful single day of your life and then, when you're comfy in your bed late at night, think about how quickly that day goes by. It happens in a flash, and then it's over. The vision/fantasy day that you've been living out for a year (or more, or less) inside of your own mind will take up so much more time/thinking/planning/strategy/fuel than the actual day of your wedding. Take that as you may. It's not a bad or good thing, it's just a thing. It's a consideration.
I kind of got off-topic. That's because as a wedding graduate, I feel like I have a lot of things to say. But truth be told, I've been avoiding blogging because I couldn't articulate, even to myself, exactly how I felt about our wedding day.
As you read in my last post, a lot of things didn't go as expected. But believe me when I tell you that marrying Neal, yes, the actual marrying part of the day, was one of the greatest moments of my life thus far. When that ceremony started, an hour and a half late, in a reception hall instead of a garden, the vision I had been playing out in my head for months evaporated and nothing else mattered except the intense love I was sharing with my almost-husband and a room full of the most important people in my life. Surreal, yes. Amazing, yes. Deeply profound. Deeply gratifying.
Sharing vows with Neal was far more intense than I expected it to be. Neither him nor I could stop the tears. The waltz my Dad wrote for us was pure magic, and dancing to it with my husband was supernatural. The day had its moments of stress, and its complementary moments of indescribable beauty. It had drama, and frustration, and all of those real-life weirdnesses that seem to come about only when you plan on one thing and the good Lord takes you in a totally different direction. What we're so unable to do in this life is be fluid to new plans. We spend hours planning for minutes that haven't yet come into existence.
If I were to do it all over again, and trust me, if you've gone through the process of planning a wedding, you will want to do everything all over again in different way - I would do 1 thing and 1 thing only:
Simplify.
Easier said than done, my pretties. But I'm talking, like, major simplification. Dress off the rack. A flower in my hair. A church/reception combo space. A pizza party. Either that, or an elopement in California. Simple.
What's complicated about this wedding thing is that nothing in life is pure black & white. Wedding days aren't all or nothing. They aren't ALL perfect, or ALL tragic. We are trained to focus on flowers, food, organza, and lace when what happens on the day of your wedding is that, you literally don't care about those things. What you really want to do on your wedding day is get married. Once and for all.
It's funny how we spend so many days planning one day, so much time considering all these details when what happens on the day-of that day, is that we forget all the other days we spend planning for this 1 day, and we want nothing more than to just BE. Be with our loved ones, our vows. To hold one another. To be.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
I'm Alive.
It's true. I'm totally alive. I'm breathing air, sitting in a chair, and actually existing right this very minute. Apparently even though I do still exist, I somehow decided that I was completely done blogging about my wedding. If I tell you why, it's going to take a long time. And that, dear friends, is why I've been procrastinating writing this post.
Let me first say this. Our wedding day was the best day of my life, hands down. But it wasn't the best day of my life because my "vision" was executed. To be honest, my vision got kicked in the balls and then slapped upside the head. It was rough.
Let's get the shitty things out of the way first, shall we? Okay.
1.) I had my period on our wedding day. And all throughout our honeymoon. It royally sucked, and after day 14 of my period due to my progesterone shot (HUGE HUGE mistake), I wanted throw a kitten into a wall. That's sick. I'm kidding. I really like cats.
2.) While I woke up on June 12th feeling good, and even worked out a little to jump-start my engines, right before I started putting my makeup on, I felt a raging sore throat coming on. I mean, I just knew it. I was getting SICK on my wedding day. I was able to ignore it for the most part, but it was a huge huge bummer that actually took a couple days off the start of our honeymoon. Cry.
3.) We got rained out. I mean, it blew, but my (amazing) friends & family shielded me from the bride who was walking into the Botanical Gardens' main building completely head-to-toe soaking wet, along with her head-to-toe soaking wet wedding party and head-to-toe wet guests. Apparently, they felt the brunt of the torrential downpour mid-vow. Ouch. Horrible. I (still) feel so bad for that poor girl. I really, really do.
I patiently waited inside the office and finally had to call it a rain-out 30 minutes past our ceremony time (5:30pm) while my guests, confused as hell, waited in the main building for further information. Neal actually just told me the other day that our ceremony didn't even begin until 6:30pm (at our reception site.) See? Definitely not my "vision." :)
4.) Our bakery forgot to put my quite small cake on its cake stand. Dammit. That irritated the crap out of me (not the day-of, but afterwards..) To make matters worse, they actually forgot the sheet cake that was to be hidden and cut in the kitchen for about, oh, 100 guests. This I found out AFTER the wedding. Major disappointment with the wedding cake. They gave me only a partial refund. I'm going to get a full refund. Yep.
5.) Instead of wearing my hair half up, half down like I had planned, I had to last-minute decide to wear it up. Because it was literally 97 degrees and humid as hell outside. And in hindsight, my hair was nice, but it wasn't totally what I had wanted. In pictures, I look at myself and wish I had worn it 1/2 up like I had wanted to. But, I would have boiled. Like, my hair would have been dripping down my back all day. Gross.
So, that's all the shitty crap that happened. But like I said, it was still the BEST day of my life. Can you believe it? I can't wait to spill the amazing GOOD things in the next post, now that I've gotten all that nonsense out of the way!
Let me first say this. Our wedding day was the best day of my life, hands down. But it wasn't the best day of my life because my "vision" was executed. To be honest, my vision got kicked in the balls and then slapped upside the head. It was rough.
Let's get the shitty things out of the way first, shall we? Okay.
1.) I had my period on our wedding day. And all throughout our honeymoon. It royally sucked, and after day 14 of my period due to my progesterone shot (HUGE HUGE mistake), I wanted throw a kitten into a wall. That's sick. I'm kidding. I really like cats.
2.) While I woke up on June 12th feeling good, and even worked out a little to jump-start my engines, right before I started putting my makeup on, I felt a raging sore throat coming on. I mean, I just knew it. I was getting SICK on my wedding day. I was able to ignore it for the most part, but it was a huge huge bummer that actually took a couple days off the start of our honeymoon. Cry.
3.) We got rained out. I mean, it blew, but my (amazing) friends & family shielded me from the bride who was walking into the Botanical Gardens' main building completely head-to-toe soaking wet, along with her head-to-toe soaking wet wedding party and head-to-toe wet guests. Apparently, they felt the brunt of the torrential downpour mid-vow. Ouch. Horrible. I (still) feel so bad for that poor girl. I really, really do.
I patiently waited inside the office and finally had to call it a rain-out 30 minutes past our ceremony time (5:30pm) while my guests, confused as hell, waited in the main building for further information. Neal actually just told me the other day that our ceremony didn't even begin until 6:30pm (at our reception site.) See? Definitely not my "vision." :)
4.) Our bakery forgot to put my quite small cake on its cake stand. Dammit. That irritated the crap out of me (not the day-of, but afterwards..) To make matters worse, they actually forgot the sheet cake that was to be hidden and cut in the kitchen for about, oh, 100 guests. This I found out AFTER the wedding. Major disappointment with the wedding cake. They gave me only a partial refund. I'm going to get a full refund. Yep.
5.) Instead of wearing my hair half up, half down like I had planned, I had to last-minute decide to wear it up. Because it was literally 97 degrees and humid as hell outside. And in hindsight, my hair was nice, but it wasn't totally what I had wanted. In pictures, I look at myself and wish I had worn it 1/2 up like I had wanted to. But, I would have boiled. Like, my hair would have been dripping down my back all day. Gross.
So, that's all the shitty crap that happened. But like I said, it was still the BEST day of my life. Can you believe it? I can't wait to spill the amazing GOOD things in the next post, now that I've gotten all that nonsense out of the way!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Why I'm Not Around
Deep Thoughts, by Emily Rennard:
"Once, when I planned my wedding, I had a panic attack in the middle of the grocery store. Good thing about is was, I was in the cookie aisle, and I began ripping open Famous Amos boxes and completely ate my feelings away."
Just kidding, that didn't happen. But it could.
I am about 3 weeks out from marriage-ness and while I was feelin' groovy last week, I feel the Pangs of Anxiety returning.
Pangs of Anxiety: They're like old friends that come around once every 3 years. You get together, force conversation, realize you're totally different people and there's a reason you don't talk much anymore. Yet, you still have some weird pull to be around them because they're familiar, albeit totally dysfunctional.
Old friends, I wish you would go away. But the best feature of shitty old friends like Pangs of Anxiety is that they are the catalyst to get you to wake the F up. And get shit done. Pangs of Anxiety help assemble wedding programs, or put together a wedding itinerary, or book your final honeymoon hotel. So I guess they're not always shitty. Just distant, and neurotic.
As far as my color-coded to-do list is concerned, we're actually in pretty good shape. I mean sure, when Neal & I met with our photographer last night, it was self-evident that we hadn't give more than 10 minutes of thought to how the day's events would actually unfold, time-wise. But that's why my photographer owns, because she helped me figure that all out. Megan, have you considered charging for consulting services? I'm serious.
We've got table runners, flowers, food, music, outfits, hairdos, paper flags, candles, a marriage license (critical), a Reverend, some guests, chairs, a few tables, a hall, garden, a little kid with a pillow, a little kid with some flowers, rings, jewels, shoes, shirts, smiles, love.
I think we're good to go, folks.
"Once, when I planned my wedding, I had a panic attack in the middle of the grocery store. Good thing about is was, I was in the cookie aisle, and I began ripping open Famous Amos boxes and completely ate my feelings away."
Just kidding, that didn't happen. But it could.
I am about 3 weeks out from marriage-ness and while I was feelin' groovy last week, I feel the Pangs of Anxiety returning.
Pangs of Anxiety: They're like old friends that come around once every 3 years. You get together, force conversation, realize you're totally different people and there's a reason you don't talk much anymore. Yet, you still have some weird pull to be around them because they're familiar, albeit totally dysfunctional.
Old friends, I wish you would go away. But the best feature of shitty old friends like Pangs of Anxiety is that they are the catalyst to get you to wake the F up. And get shit done. Pangs of Anxiety help assemble wedding programs, or put together a wedding itinerary, or book your final honeymoon hotel. So I guess they're not always shitty. Just distant, and neurotic.
As far as my color-coded to-do list is concerned, we're actually in pretty good shape. I mean sure, when Neal & I met with our photographer last night, it was self-evident that we hadn't give more than 10 minutes of thought to how the day's events would actually unfold, time-wise. But that's why my photographer owns, because she helped me figure that all out. Megan, have you considered charging for consulting services? I'm serious.
We've got table runners, flowers, food, music, outfits, hairdos, paper flags, candles, a marriage license (critical), a Reverend, some guests, chairs, a few tables, a hall, garden, a little kid with a pillow, a little kid with some flowers, rings, jewels, shoes, shirts, smiles, love.
I think we're good to go, folks.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wedding Nightmares
Who has wedding nightmares? Me. They're crazy. Most of the time they're centered around an issue with my dress - it's the wrong dress, it doesn't fit, I don't like it, I can't find it. Almost always I'm in some very odd venue, outdoors but in some peculiar locale like a garden in the middle of a desert (wtf?) or on top of a mountain with wind whipping around everywhere.
I had one that was kind of neat - the power went out, so we had it in an old, candle-lit ballroom - except the food was served in cafeteria-style buffet stations. It was very 'Beauty and the Beast' meets high school lunch.
Why is this interesting?
It's really not.
But I found a font called 'Wedding Nightmares' on dafont.com and it triggered this post. I loved the font name, and thought it was clever and apropos. I like the font itself, not in love with it, but it's got a heavy dose of things I generally like in fonts - organic, scripty, natural. :)
DaFont is a great resource for wedding fonts, by the way. I see so many amateur designers try their hand at their wedding invitations - and the layout isn't horrible, but the TYPOGRAPHY. Yeeps! Type is completely key to good design. There are a bajillion blogs and other various literature out there about the subject. In fact, it's one of the main reasons I love being a designer. TYPE is LOVE.
Who loves type and has wedding nightmares? Just me?
Great. Now I feel weird.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
J. Crew & Miriam Haskell
Remember when I decided on these Miriam Haskell lovelies to lease for the big day?
Yes, you do. Because they're amazing.
Well, turns out my favorite retailer, Mr. J. Crew, has teamed up with Miriam Haskell (who would be my favorite jewelry designer if I were a bajillionaire) to create a line of bridal jewelry. It's reported to debut in May, but that's a tad too late for my time schedule, and so I'm a little sad about that. However, methinks their pieces would be a bit out of my price range anyhow. But oh, I feel like this line would be made for me.
Also, I have decided that perhaps understated and simple might be best for jewelry. I really want my Grandmother's pearl necklace to shine. And if I wear those Miriam Haskell earrings (*sigh*), I feel like they might steal the show. I'd like to look beautiful, but not overwhelmed by jewelry. Gorgeous, amazing jewelry. I'm going to order these J. Crew pearl box earrings to see what they'll look like with the necklace and dress together.
They're not small (1 1/2") so I think they'll feel right. I swear, I am obsessed with accessories.
Yes, you do. Because they're amazing.Well, turns out my favorite retailer, Mr. J. Crew, has teamed up with Miriam Haskell (who would be my favorite jewelry designer if I were a bajillionaire) to create a line of bridal jewelry. It's reported to debut in May, but that's a tad too late for my time schedule, and so I'm a little sad about that. However, methinks their pieces would be a bit out of my price range anyhow. But oh, I feel like this line would be made for me.
Also, I have decided that perhaps understated and simple might be best for jewelry. I really want my Grandmother's pearl necklace to shine. And if I wear those Miriam Haskell earrings (*sigh*), I feel like they might steal the show. I'd like to look beautiful, but not overwhelmed by jewelry. Gorgeous, amazing jewelry. I'm going to order these J. Crew pearl box earrings to see what they'll look like with the necklace and dress together.
They're not small (1 1/2") so I think they'll feel right. I swear, I am obsessed with accessories.
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